Unconditional Love: What Is It and Do You Have It

The term unconditional love gets tossed around a lot these days. But what does it mean? In its essence, the idea of unconditional love is virtuous and completely selfless. After all, to love someone unconditionally means just that: you love someone without any conditions. That’s it. Sounds simple in theory, right? 

It turns out that loving unconditionally is hard work. When we fall in love with someone, it’s natural to form some sort of attachment to our partners. We seek security from them. Unconditional love does away with all of that. It’s founded on loving for the sake of it rather than what you get out of it. 

When you love someone unconditionally you love someone for who they are, warts and all. You love them even if they let you down. Loving someone unconditionally means you love without expectations and that you value your partner’s well-being.

Loving someone unconditionally means you love someone without any attachments; you love your partner simply to love them. You don’t expect anything in return. You love to love. Do you have a relationship of unconditional love? Here’s how to know.

You forgive each other quickly

Is it easy for you both to find forgiveness and move one when one of you has made a mistake? This is key for long-term relationships, but it’s also crucial when it comes to loving someone unconditionally. Your partner is not perfect. They might say or do things that hurt you and reveal a side of them that isn’t beautiful. If you can witness that side of them, accept it and stick by them, that’s unconditional love.

 You love them just because

Do you love your partner because they check certain boxes off your “must-have” list? For example, did you fall in love with them because they have a good job, have similar interests, or look a certain way? Or do you love them for… them? 

A friend once asked me why I loved my boyfriend at the time. He wanted to know which characteristics or qualities made me know he was the one? While I could list some admirable traits I liked, as well as some not-so-great ones, those weren’t the reasons why I loved him. I loved him for who he was, plain and simple. I didn’t need him to be anything else for me but his true self, and I loved him because I just did. It was effortless. That’s unconditional love, my friend.

You can be vulnerable together

Vulnerability connects us all. When we are able to shed our armor and let someone in, we really get to know the integral parts of who we are. And that’s special. When we’re vulnerable with our partners, we’re creating a safe space. Emotional safety is truly a blessed thing between two people. 

You are saying to one another that it’s safe to be who you are. You are free to voice your greatest insecurities and deepest emotions without fear of judgment or rejection. You trust one another unequivocally, and know that your heart is safe with your partner.

Unconditional love is not codependency. Loving someone without conditions doesn’t mean you accept bad behavior and compromise your boundaries to please the other. Rather, unconditional love is defined by the freedom that stems from vulnerability. 

You accept and love one another for who you are without imposing your desires on the other. You focus on supporting one another, which in turn promotes more love. Unconditional love means you give each other the liberty to be who you are so you can both shine. It proudly says “I love you for you, and that’s enough.”